Friday, October 30, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Packers Better Than Browns

Photo\John Kuntz

The Green Bay Packers are better than the Cleveland Browns. But that does not answer the question; almost everyone is better than the Cleveland Browns.

Despite flashes of excellence in the quick-striking passing game which resulted in multiple touchdown passes; and playing great defense; and protecting quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay failed to answer the question.

Because when you are playing the worst defense in the NFL which also has an anemic offense (think Packers, circa 1984) you SHOULD be able to impose your will with your strengths; but you should also answer the question.

And in the process of beating up on the Browns, the Packers were getting help around the league as both the Bears and the Vikings suffered losses, bringing Green Bay to within one single game of sharing the conference lead; a game which brings up the REAL question: Can the Green Bay Packers beat the Minnesota Vikings?

Though coach Mike McCarthy tried to unleash his running game, it took wayyy more attempts than it should have to unleash Ryan Grant, don't you think? Against the league's worst defense?

So what's going to happen next week when the Minnesota Vikings bring Jared Allen and the Williamsses to Lambeau?

And though Chad Clifton was not in the game to accumulate more bone head penalties, other Packers stepped in to pick up the slack and they penalized their way back on to McCarthy's list.

So if Green Bay still has not mastered the run game, and if they still make an unacceptable number of stupid penalties, CAN THEY BEAT THE VIKINGS?

Yes, they protected the quarterback against Cleveland, but until they can fix those two remaining problems, one game might be the closest they get to the conference lead for the rest of the year.

Game Ball: Defense

Monday, October 19, 2009

Why Can't We Play the Lions Every Week?


Sure we might miss out on a Super Bowl or two. And, yes we would never really know how good we were. But in some other parallel universe, wouldn't it be great just to play the Lions every week? At Lambeau?

I mean, we can give up an embarrassing amount of sacks, get more penalties than ACORN, establish NO run game, and still smoke our opponents. Isn't that a great thing?

It would be a little like pounding up on your little brother every week; or your sister. But we would know that we would win, no matter what.

I kind of wonder if Aaron Rodgers wasn't drawing pass plays in the dirt at Sunday's game at Lambeau. Or else he was saying to his stud receivers, "Just get open. The rest of you block." And then he'd drop back and just shred the Lions defensive backfield time after time. There were circus catches by Donald Driver, big gainers, touchdown passes, the obligatory half-dozen dropped passes and we blow the Lions away.

And just like your stupid kid brother who decides to fake a punt from his own 30-yard line, or something, the Lions were giving us more opportunities than Bill Clinton in his Governor's office. They let us in the red zone more often than Obama lets a radical freak have a White House czar position, and even though we couldn't do anything about it except kick a bevy of field goals, it was nice to be racking up points on the board.

As for Chad Clifton, I am pretty sure that I hurt his leg myself through telepathy or reverse osmosisizing extremely strong negative energy back through the television microwave signals...or maybe that was you. Or perhaps it was all of us together.

But if one player ever deserved to get pulled from a game and sit on the bench, it was Clifton. He drew more flags than Che Guevara at an Obama rally. And it was just as pitiful. No excuses for that kind of inattention, Chad. And if you weren't so monstrously big, I'd say that to your face. Be careful or you might get yourself traded TO the Lions!

Kudos to Donald Driver for earning the all-time Packer pass-catching title. Kudos to Aaron Rodgers for his precision passing. Kudos to the defense. Kudos to whoever let Aaron Kampman rush the quarterback for a change. And kudos to Ted Thompson for finally finding a team he can dominate even though his team always plays sloppy, inconsistent football.

And since Thompson already lives in an alternate universe, maybe he can make this dream come true and get the Lions back at Lambeau every week for the rest of this season, anyway. It sure would be fun.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Ted Thompson, How's That 'New Direction' Working For Ya Then?

Morry Gash/AP

Ted Thompson, go dig a hole and crawl into it and just stay there.

Your 'new direction' came face to face with the 'original direction' and wiped your nose in it badly.

Brett Favre tore you new body orifices last night, Ted. And you've got the best corners in the league.

Where the heck was the protection for your prodigy quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, Ted?

So you wanted to go a 'new direction' so you threw Brett Favre out of Green Bay. Well, guess what, he didn't just ride away into the sunset. He came back and blazed more holes through you than the buildings at the Alamo. Brett Favre swiss-cheesed every presumption of genius you though you had.

And you should have been fired long ago, but today, you should be fired IMMEDIATELY!

Your plan has not worked, does not work, and will not work.

And I'm sorry to have to say this, but I TOLD YOU SO!

Great effort by the Pack in stopping Adrian Peterson. They did a good job with that. Also great efforts by Ryan Grant, Aaron Rodgers, Woodson, Harris, and the linebackers.

It is just too bad that the Packers had to play against the deadliest gun-slinger ever, Brett Favre.

Thanks, Ted.

Game Ball: Brett Favre.

Monday, October 5, 2009