Green Bay D: If it Looks Like a Duck...

(AP Photo/John Froschauer)

If it looks like a duck, and, of course quacks like a duck, can you really believe that it's a defense?

Granted, many of the Green Bay Packers 'varsity' defensive players watched the game from the sidelines in the game against the Seattle Seahawks, but the players unlucky enough to be on the field to try to stop the Seahawk offense certainly demonstrated themselves to be birds of a different feather than the Packers' high-flying offense, whose 'varsity' squad was a powerful force on the field on Saturday night.

Now perhaps it was just Green Bay's defensive coordinator, Dom Capers, playing his cards close to his vest. Or maybe it was just a talent-pool test to see who's heads will soon be on the chopping block. But with a sorry performance in last week's outing against the Cleveland Browns, one would think that the Packers would show up in Seattle with something to prove defensively.

Instead, they just layed an egg and made Seahawk quarterback Matt Hasselbeck look like a Hall of Famer, which he isn't. Not only did the defense polish Hasselbeck's dome nice and shiny for him, they allowed Seahawk running backs to soar like eagles too.

But the sky didn't really start falling until Green Bay's special teams flocked on to the field. If the defense played like quacks, Packers special teams were outright honkers as they fouled up almost every opportunity of the evening, giving up monumental field position. Seahawk return men looked like they were working for Donald Trump, gobbling up huge chucks of real estate on almost every return. One half-expected there to be a twenty-story luxury multiplex planted on half of the field by the end of the game. Certainly the special teams mess needs to be addressed and the Packers need to find some real answers very soon, with Mason Crosby and the field goal unit being the exception; they play well and were just showing off on Saturday.

It was a good thing Coach McCarthy threw in running back Brandon Jackson toward the end of the game to pound out a touchdown and make a statement for the win, or the Packers would have surely pulled a defeat out of the jaws of victory.

Now, it was a bit shameless that the Seahawks kept their starters in the game for the whole first half, while Air Rodgers and the Packers starting offense only played a few downs. But that situation did give Green Bay's sophomore quarterback Matt Flynn a lot of very valuable playing time against a busy Seattle defense which put hard pressure on him. All in all, Flynn seemed to manage the field quite well and you could almost see him developing right before your eyes. And despite his two turnovers, he did move the Packers down the field and looks like he would be able to lead the team should Rodgers fall to injury.

Also nice to see were some of the unknown Packer receivers getting some solid reps in against Seattle's starting defense. They made some nice catches, missed a few, but showed effort and heart. And with the likes of Driver, Jennings and Jones on the roster, these second-tier receivers are not likely to see a whole lot of action in the future.

The Seattle Seahawks are not that good of a team and would have suffered greatly had the Packers potent offense not left the field so early. 27-24 is not a realistic score, therefore, for a regular-season matchup between these two teams. Had this game been played in October, the score would have been 48-30, at least, and the Seahawks would be the ones with egg on their faces.

Player of the game: Packers starting offense.

PackSmack is Back, But Are the Packers?

After quite a haitus from football, also known as off-season complete hibernation, PackSmack has popped his head out of the den to peer in to the current state of the Green Bay Packers and the NFL.

The first surprise I discovered was that former Denver coach Mike Shanahan is now the coach of the Washington Redskins! Then I learned that Terrell Owens is teamed up with Chad Whats-his-name with the Bengals! The third stunner was when I learned that the Philadelphia Eagles have dealt quarterback Donavon McNab to some other team, though it is not clear to me yet which team he plays for.

If it is not obvious yet, PackSmack does not pay much attention to sports until football season actually begins; and, of course, pre-season is football season.

So this brings us to this year's edition of our Green Bay Packers, who made their pre-season debut against the Cleveland Browns last weekend.

Now a lot of people say pre-season does not matter, but I believe that pre-season games are very telling.

And what we learned from the game against Cleveland is this: 1.) Our first team defense is weak, 2.) There is nothing special about our special teams, and 3.) Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Air Force will be nearly unstoppable.

With all our veteran receivers returning, and all looking at least as good as they were last year, the Packers will be racking up 35-45 points per game. But the question becomes, will that be enough points to win, when our special teams will be granting opposing teams generous field position, and our defense will not be able to stop the run?

We will be able to beat sub-par teams, but will split with fellow contending teams. A 10-6 record will be optimistic unless we learn how to stop the run and can fix the special team mess.

But regardless of whether this can happen or not, watching the Green Bay Packer offense this year will be one thrilling ride.

As a final note, PackSmack also just learned that Charles Woodson was named the NFL Defensive Player of the year last year, which indicates that someone must have been reading PackSmack, because we were saying he should be named that since early last season. Let's hope Charles Woodson brings as much excitement again this year as he did in his unforgettable performances last season.

Welcome back, Pack! We're behind you through thick and thin!

Three Favres Equals One Aaron Rodgers

Packers Better Than Browns

Photo\John Kuntz

The Green Bay Packers are better than the Cleveland Browns. But that does not answer the question; almost everyone is better than the Cleveland Browns.

Despite flashes of excellence in the quick-striking passing game which resulted in multiple touchdown passes; and playing great defense; and protecting quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay failed to answer the question.

Because when you are playing the worst defense in the NFL which also has an anemic offense (think Packers, circa 1984) you SHOULD be able to impose your will with your strengths; but you should also answer the question.

And in the process of beating up on the Browns, the Packers were getting help around the league as both the Bears and the Vikings suffered losses, bringing Green Bay to within one single game of sharing the conference lead; a game which brings up the REAL question: Can the Green Bay Packers beat the Minnesota Vikings?

Though coach Mike McCarthy tried to unleash his running game, it took wayyy more attempts than it should have to unleash Ryan Grant, don't you think? Against the league's worst defense?

So what's going to happen next week when the Minnesota Vikings bring Jared Allen and the Williamsses to Lambeau?

And though Chad Clifton was not in the game to accumulate more bone head penalties, other Packers stepped in to pick up the slack and they penalized their way back on to McCarthy's list.

So if Green Bay still has not mastered the run game, and if they still make an unacceptable number of stupid penalties, CAN THEY BEAT THE VIKINGS?

Yes, they protected the quarterback against Cleveland, but until they can fix those two remaining problems, one game might be the closest they get to the conference lead for the rest of the year.

Game Ball: Defense

Why Can't We Play the Lions Every Week?

Sure we might miss out on a Super Bowl or two. And, yes we would never really know how good we were. But in some other parallel universe, wouldn't it be great just to play the Lions every week? At Lambeau?

I mean, we can give up an embarrassing amount of sacks, get more penalties than ACORN, establish NO run game, and still smoke our opponents. Isn't that a great thing?

It would be a little like pounding up on your little brother every week; or your sister. But we would know that we would win, no matter what.

I kind of wonder if Aaron Rodgers wasn't drawing pass plays in the dirt at Sunday's game at Lambeau. Or else he was saying to his stud receivers, "Just get open. The rest of you block." And then he'd drop back and just shred the Lions defensive backfield time after time. There were circus catches by Donald Driver, big gainers, touchdown passes, the obligatory half-dozen dropped passes and we blow the Lions away.

And just like your stupid kid brother who decides to fake a punt from his own 30-yard line, or something, the Lions were giving us more opportunities than Bill Clinton in his Governor's office. They let us in the red zone more often than Obama lets a radical freak have a White House czar position, and even though we couldn't do anything about it except kick a bevy of field goals, it was nice to be racking up points on the board.

As for Chad Clifton, I am pretty sure that I hurt his leg myself through telepathy or reverse osmosisizing extremely strong negative energy back through the television microwave signals...or maybe that was you. Or perhaps it was all of us together.

But if one player ever deserved to get pulled from a game and sit on the bench, it was Clifton. He drew more flags than Che Guevara at an Obama rally. And it was just as pitiful. No excuses for that kind of inattention, Chad. And if you weren't so monstrously big, I'd say that to your face. Be careful or you might get yourself traded TO the Lions!

Kudos to Donald Driver for earning the all-time Packer pass-catching title. Kudos to Aaron Rodgers for his precision passing. Kudos to the defense. Kudos to whoever let Aaron Kampman rush the quarterback for a change. And kudos to Ted Thompson for finally finding a team he can dominate even though his team always plays sloppy, inconsistent football.

And since Thompson already lives in an alternate universe, maybe he can make this dream come true and get the Lions back at Lambeau every week for the rest of this season, anyway. It sure would be fun.

Ted Thompson, How's That 'New Direction' Working For Ya Then?

Morry Gash/AP

Ted Thompson, go dig a hole and crawl into it and just stay there.

Your 'new direction' came face to face with the 'original direction' and wiped your nose in it badly.

Brett Favre tore you new body orifices last night, Ted. And you've got the best corners in the league.

Where the heck was the protection for your prodigy quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, Ted?

So you wanted to go a 'new direction' so you threw Brett Favre out of Green Bay. Well, guess what, he didn't just ride away into the sunset. He came back and blazed more holes through you than the buildings at the Alamo. Brett Favre swiss-cheesed every presumption of genius you though you had.

And you should have been fired long ago, but today, you should be fired IMMEDIATELY!

Your plan has not worked, does not work, and will not work.

And I'm sorry to have to say this, but I TOLD YOU SO!

Great effort by the Pack in stopping Adrian Peterson. They did a good job with that. Also great efforts by Ryan Grant, Aaron Rodgers, Woodson, Harris, and the linebackers.

It is just too bad that the Packers had to play against the deadliest gun-slinger ever, Brett Favre.

Thanks, Ted.

Game Ball: Brett Favre.

Vikings Suck Too